LOVING somebody and getting someone to love you back on a fifty –fifty basis can be really ‘good’. The truth however is that the emotional pendulum is not static, it moves in a crazy way and that is what makes it unpredictable.
It can swing any way or anyhow. Your mood, state of mind and the ‘bird’ you settle for determines how balanced your emotional space would be. Shifting with a heart that is in grief can be a great dilemma but you can make it work, if you really try?
This kind of love deal however can’t be struck on a platter of gold; you have to work hard because it’s usually a hard emotional nut to crack. It can actually be boring doling out affection in quantities that you cannot reap.
Here you must be ready to listen, give lots of love in return to the one who is on your affectionate thermometer.
Trust, forgiveness and a heart willing to live up to emotional promises and expectations is equally important.
When your hearts is heavy with grief, you need to do certain things to purge your emotions. The grief within has its own heartbeat and you can convert this to a positive energy. The greatest desire would therefore be to resist the rhythms of grief. You also need to get someone to stop this bleeding or weeping heart.
Ronke is feeling this way at the moment. Her husband died in an accident and it hurts because it is the only true love she has ever had. Since then she has struggled and struggled with her emotions without any luck. Her doctor tried to talk to her and at a point he gave her some antidepressants. BUT she is just so lost without the love of her life.
In the journey of the heart and soul, it can be very tough to find purpose when you are in grief. For some it is easy to find a replacement, while others take a long time to excavate a new heart, a heart that would bring meaning to their lives once more. When you are in this state of deep seated loss, what you need is someone who believes that the sun will rise again.
Omoshalewa is also feeling bad because she just lost her mother. Her eyes were swollen and she was still not tired of crying. Tears for a mother she loved so much. How can this woman chose to depart from this world now. Life can be really callous and her heart was sinking on a daily basis. It was actually a time she expected some emotional sympathy from her father.
Yes, she knew his heart was sinking too and she expected him to shower all the affection on her as the only child from that union. Unfortunately for our dear gal, this was not to be: Her father’s affection shifted almost immediately via the shifting cultivation ‘methodology’.
“When my mother died about a year ago she left a terrible vacuum for my dad and I. We just didn’t know how to pick up the shattered pieces. Suddenly, my father’s disposition changed, he looked happier and it was obvious that he had moved on.”
Naturally that should have been a plus but when the little girl discovered the ‘tonic’, she was disappointed. “Midway, I realized that my father was dating my class teacher. They came close when she came for the condolence visit with two other teachers. She took his number and somehow they became very close”.
To her utmost surprise, it became a very serious affair and the visits became more frequent. “Then I realised that there was no going back for the two of them. That was just too fast and it affected me psychologically. I became very troublesome and my father had to send me to my grandmother place.
This made me really angry and I began to hate my dad. Does it mean that my father has forgotten my mother so quickly? Could it be that he never really liked my mother and was pretending all along? Or could it be that all this were my teacher’s handiwork and she seduced him to take all the actions that he did?
And before she could say jack, the woman was pregnant and she was delivered of a baby boy a year after her mother died. Poor gal. It is only natural to feel betrayed by your dad and class teacher. But again, that is the way love operates. It can happen anytime and anywhere. The demise of your mother had created a vacuum and in a short while he found another missing rib.
You just cannot blame him totally because he followed his heart. She ignited the flames and sparks that followed showed that they were really in love. As for your class teacher, she did not need to seduce him to win his heart. A lot of other people must have visited to condole, yet he did not swing that way emotionally. The truth of the matter is that love can catch up with you anywhere, anytime and any how.
Source: Latest Nigeria News, Nigerian Newspapers, Politics
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